Memo to Dave Gettleman, free agent news, etc

Posted: March 19, 2014 in Football, New entries
Tags: , , , , ,

Earth to Dave Gettleman. Take your third round pick, WR Marvin McNutt, and a brand new pair of Jordans’, wrap it all up in a cardboard box and mail it out to:
Chip Kelly
1 Lincoln Financial Field Way,
Philadelphia, PA 19147

DeSean Jackson is up for a TRADE YOU MAROON. GET YOUR FAT TOOKUS OFF THE COUCH AND GET THE BEST RECEIVER IN THE NFC EAST.

In other news, Oakland put a band-aid on their offensive line by signing Donald Penn. Penn is uninspiringly overweight weighing in at 340 lbs, hefty even for an NFL offensive lineman. Penn still performs as an adequate left tackle and can be expected to provide solid O-line play for Oakland in 2014.

Dallas’s chances of drafting an interior d-lineman in the first round just dropped the moment they signed former Bear Henry Melton to play DT. Teams will likely still covet Aaron Donald’s services in the middle portion of the the first round, but Dallas may decide it’s in the best interest of the team to draft a defensive back like Ha Ha Clinton Dix or Calvin Pryor to put more talent on the field right away.

NY Jets head coach Rex Ryan is reportedly “upset” after seeing Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie sign with the Giants. The Jets now only have two former first round picks at the cornerback position, whereas in 2012 they had four (Dee Milliner, Kyle Wilson, Antonio Cromartie, Darrelle Revis).

Former Louisville Cardinal and first-round-pick-to-be Teddy Bridgewater apparently didn’t blow enough air up Mike Mayock’s skirt causing his imaginary stock to “drop.” Mike Mayock is a consummate professional, and if he believes Bridgewater didn’t have an impressive pro day, he’s probably right. But a pro day makes up about one percent of a player’s draftability. Bridgewater’s executed as a surgical passer in Louisville for years. A day of over-analyzing his throwing motion doesn’t detract from his ability to perform as an elite passer in the NFL.

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