Archive for May, 2016

I’ve had a lot of job interviews after (and during) college. I’ve learned a thing or two and decided to share what’s worked for me with the rest of the world. Here is my seven step guide to guaranteed success at getting the job.

1. Arrive 15 minutes early with resume in-hand. Arrive too early and you look desperate. Arrive late or just before it starts and you give off an unprofessional vibe.

2. Maintain eye contact and firm handshake. First impression is key. Subtle details will go a long way in your interviewer’s decision to hire you. They will be confident in you if you are confident in you.


The ancient Greeks understood the importance of eye contact and a firm handshake

3. Assume proper posture, be succinct. Keep your back straight and avoid words such as: “Uhh, and stuff, that kind of thing, etc.” Everything you say needs to exactly represent how you will be an asset to the company. Extra words that show a lack of confidence or preparation will encourage your interviewer to give another candidate the nod.


4. Let them know you’re educated. Quote the great thinkers of the world. Nietzsche once said: “One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”  They will be impressed by your superior intellect and want you working with them.


Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche 

5. Jump on the desk, pound your chest like a gorilla while howling. Gorillas pound their chest to let all the other gorillas in the jungle know how big and strong they are. It scares off the competition. You’re in the jungle too. The CONCRETE jungle. You’re not going to lose your job to Becky.


6. Demonstrate your passion through interpretive dance.  Insist on a 40 minute window with the interviewer to perform a solo dance routine to express how passionate you are about customer service, cleaning supplies, or solar panels (or whatever your company does). Interpretive dance shows true dedication.


7. After the interview, strip naked and run through the building shouting lines from ‘Mary Had a little Lamb.’ This will show how comfortable you are. Companies need to know you will get along with their team. Sometimes that means making yourself vulnerable and expressing your love of poetry.


After you get the job be sure to thank your recruiter and all of the people involved in your hiring process. A little gratitude can go a long way.


(All images courtesy of

If the businessmen drink my blood

Like the kids in art school said they would
Then I guess I’ll just begin again
You say, “Can we still be friends?”

If I was scared, I would
And if I was bored, you know I would
And if I was yours, but I’m not

All the kids have always known
That the emperor wears no clothes

But they bow down to him anyway
It’s better than being alone

If I was scared, I would
And if I was pure, you know I would
And if I was yours, but I’m not

Now you’re knocking at my door
Saying, “Please come out with us tonight”
But I would rather be alone
Than pretend I feel alright

If the businessmen drink my blood


Like the kids in art school said they would
Then I guess I’ll just begin again
You say, “Can we still be friends?”

If I was scared, I would
And if I was pure, you know I would
And if I was yours, but I’m not
Now I’m ready to start

If I was scared, I would
And if I was pure, you know I would
And if I was yours, but I’m not
Now I’m ready to start
Now I’m ready to start

I would rather be wrong
Than live in the shadows of your sun


My mind is open wide and now I’m ready to start
Now I’m ready to start
My mind is open wide and now I’m ready to start
You’re not sure you open the door and step out into the dark
Now I’m ready

(All images courtesy of

“Off the field issues”

Posted: May 23, 2016 in New entries, NFL

This is by no means a comprehensive list of every awful thing a college or professional football player has done recently or ever. I also realize this entry can seem didactic, presenting a challenge without presenting a solution to it. I don’t know what solution may be necessary to fix human inhumanity. I love football and find myself fascinated by the athletic feats and tactical genius required to succeed in the sport at every level. I am also a human being who is troubled to think that my favorite players may commit wretched atrocities and get away with doing so because law enforcement, coaching staff and other community members overlook the violence, rape, and murder that players are occasionally willing to engage in.

Jameis Winston – Jan 26th, 2016 Florida State University settled with former student Erica Kinsman for $950,000 on a rape accusation involving the school’s former Heisman trophy winning Quarterback Jameis Winston. That’s an awful lot of money for a rape that “didn’t” happen. When Kinsman initially went to file charges against Winston, the officer involved reportedly told her: “This is a huge football town. You really should think long and hard if you want to press charges.” (Washington Post, article by Marissa Payne.) You can find a documentary on netflix titled: “Hunting Ground” that discusses Kinsman’s fight for justice, and the trial many other rape survivors deal with on college campuses. Kinsman didn’t wait 6 months to file charges. She literally spoke to police less than 24 hours after the incident took place. Winston’s DNA is sitting in a rape kit filed by Kinsman. Winston was never convicted or arrested for his actions. He is now the starting quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers after being the first overall selection in the NFL draft in 2015.

Shawn Oakman – April 3rd, 2016 Former Baylor defensive end Shawn Oakman was charged with sexual assault and arrested. Oakman admitted to sexual intercourse but claims it was consensual. His trial is still in process. Oakman was a defensive end for Baylor university who was expected to be drafted in the 2016 NFL draft prior to his arrest.

Tyreek Hill – December 11th, 2014, Tyreek Hill “was booked on probable cause for domestic abuse by strangulation, a felony, for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend.” Hill proceeded to plead guilty in court the following August, approximately 9 months later, to “punching and choking his pregnant girlfriend and received three years of probation.”

Tyreek Hill was drafted in the fifth round of the 2016 NFL draft by the Kansas City Chiefs. Hill is currently serving three years probation and at the time of the arraignment was tasked with completing a “52-week batterer intervention course.”

Greg Hardy – May 13, 2014 Nicole Holder was assaulted by NFL defensive lineman Greg Hardy. Deadspin released photos of Greg Hardy’s girlfriend after Hardy assaulted her. Photos can be found at here. The original article on Deadspin is linked here. This is a conversation (via Deadspin) between Detective Faye Strother and Nicole Holder, Hardy’s girlfriend, after the assault took place.1507659556021475215Hardy signed with the Dallas Cowboys for the 2015 season. He is currently a free agent. Hardy was never charged formally, deadspin reports he and Nicole Holder settled out of court.

Dorial Green-Beckham – In 2014, April 6th, 2:36 am, a Sunday morning, a 6 foot 6 inch Dorial Green-Beckham forced his way into his girlfriend’s apartment and pushed “another female resident who was on the stairs ‘with two hands making her fall down at least 4 stairs.'” After which Green-Beckham’s girlfriend said (in a text message to the woman pushed down the stairs) he “drug me out by my neck and hurt me too.” Green-Beckham’s girlfriend stated she been talked to by the coaching staff at Missouri who urged her not to press charges as doing so would hurt Green-Beckham’s chances at being drafted.

Green-Beckham become a second round pick for the Tennessee Titans in the May 2015 draft. No charges were ever brought against him.



Ray Rice February 15th, 2014 Ray Rice and now wife Janay Palmer were arrested on ‘simple assault charges.‘ Video footage was released of Ray Rice knocking his then-fiancee Janay Palmer out cold in an elevator. You can youtube ‘ray rice violence’ if you want to see the video. It is the first to show up. Rice was released by the Ravens since the video was released, months after the incident took place. Rice has not been on an NFL roster since.

Rice had been known, in part, for his charitable events working with local youth, prior to the incident.

Richie Incognito – Feb 15, 2014 Ted Wells released a report stating that Incognito, along with teammates John Jerry and Mike Pouncey, subjected teammate Jonathan Martin to “a pattern of harassment.” Incognito spent a year out of football and is currently a starter for the Buffalo Bills. Jonathan Martin played another season for the San Francisco 49ers and then retired from football.

Aaron Hernandez – June of 2013 Former Patriots Tight End Aaron Hernandez shot and killed Odin Lloyd. Lloyd purportedly had knowledge of two other murders in which Hernandez had been a suspect. The former patriots tight end is now serving a life sentence without parole at Souza-Baranowski Correctional Center according to his Wikipedia page.

Ray Lewis – January 31st, 2000 Ray Lewis, Reginald Oakley, and Joseph Sweeting were ” indicted on murder and aggravated-assault charges after Richard Loller and Jacinth Baker had been stabbed to death. The fight took place a few miles away from the nightclub Lewis and his friends had been partying at that night. The white suit Lewis had worn that night has “never been found.” The prosecuting D.A. claimed that Lewis threw his suit away in a nearby dumpster. A knife found at the murder scene had no fingerprints. Lewis later admitted his two friends (Oaklay and Sweeting) had purchased knives the week before the SuperBowl. The blood of Jacinth Baker was found in Ray Lewis’s limousine. 

Lewis ended up bargaining for a deal where he received 12 months’ probation for obstruction of justice in exchange for a testimony against Oakley and Sweeting. Oakley and Sweeting were acquitted in June of that year for the crime. “No other suspects have ever been arrested for the incident.”

All information, data, quotes, etc are from unless otherwise specified. Nothing is my original content or information.


The year is 1928.

  • Charles Lindbergh was presented with the Medal of Honor for his first transatlantic flight.
  • Joseph Stalin announces the first ‘five-year plan’ resulting in the average non-farm  wage (for soviets) dropping by about half.
  • Fats Domino, Ariel Sharon, Jim Lovell, Ennio Morricone, Bo Diddley, Adam West, Eddie Fisher and several other celebrities were born.)
  • British inventor John Logie Baird demonstrates the world’s first colour television transmission.(All copied and pasted directly from

Who is the best team in American Professional Football in 1928? Why the Providence Steam Roller of course, finishing with an 8-1-2 record, only losing to the Frankford Yellow Jackets.

Established by writers for the Providence Journal, the Steam Roller were an independent team until the ’30s when they became part of the National Football league.


Although the logo may look like the prince of darkness, the Steam Roller mascot was a husky.


The Steam Roller finished the season 8-1-2, whose first three games came against the New York Yankees, the Frankford Yellow Jackets, and the Dayton Triangles.

After 1928, the Steam Roller was never the same. Key players departed for pursuits in wrestling, insurance, and coaching football.

Wikipedia claims the lack of interest coupled with the debilitating effects of the great depression caused the owners of the team to turn it over to the NFL.

The Providence Huskies,  a ‘successor’ to the Steam Roller (after it’s demise) went undefeated in 1933 and is the only pro football team to ever not allow a single point scored by an opponent during an entire season.

The 1928 Steam Roller perfectly embodied what makes New England special. Enduring challenging circumstances (the great depression), winning (they finished the season as the top team in the country), and beating the Yankees (the Steam Roller played the New York Yankees twice in ’28 and won both times).

Your music video for this post is Pearl Jam’s Sirens . The music video is just them performing the song. Which is one of the reasons I respect Pearl Jam so much. They don’t do pretentious horse-shiz, they just play rock music.

The Cardinals have an explosive offense mostly known for their passing offense: QB Carson Palmer, WR’s Larry Fitzgerald, Michael Floyd, and small-school burner John Brown.  What football fans outside of Arizona are beginning to see is their rushing attack come to life. The Cardinals were the 8th-ranked running attack in 2015 with new free agent hires OG Mike Iupati, LT Jared Veldheer, and RB Chris Johnson chipping in. All those guys are still there, and so is OG Evan Mathis, the former Bronco and Eagle who ranked as the third ranked guard in football last year, as well as the number one run-blocking guard (according to

The Cardinals bevy of running backs (David Johnson, Andre Ellington, Chris Johnson) will give Arizona plenty of opportunity to run all over defenses. January’s contests between Arizona and Seattle and Arizona and Carolina might look very different had Arians’ offense been able to get more of a push at the line of scrimmage. The addition of the best run-blocking guard in football should change that. In their playoff game against eventual NFC champs Carolina, the Cardinals top-10 rushing attack was limited to 60 yards rushing, forcing Carson Palmer to turn to the passing game and eventually throw four interceptions.

Arizona faces Carolina again this coming October 30th, where the Panthers will no longer have literally the easiest schedule in football and l̶o̶u̶d̶m̶o̶u̶t̶h̶ talented cornerback Josh Norman to help them build momentum.

The Cardinals were a very strong roster before this offseason. They should compete again among the NFC heavyweights, among which I expect Green Bay and New York will resurface.

The addition of Mathis also means drafting David Johnson in fantasy is now a viable option. He was a viable option in fantasy last year as well, when he collected over 1,000 yards from scrimmage and 12 total touchdowns (8 rushing, 4 receiving).

The music video for the day is Andra Day’s Rise Up. It may not make you feel manly, but the video was directed by M. Night Shyamalan, the man behind Sixth Sense and the confusing but hilarious(ly bad) The Happening.


These are the guys on the Jets roster listed at the QB position:

  • Geno Smith,
  • Bryce Petty,
  • Christian Hackenberg.

Geno Smith has played 31 games of NFL football. He played so well the Jets brought in journeyman QB Ryan Fitzpatrick to replace the former 2nd round pick. Fitzpatrick is a free agent and doesn’t want to play for New York at the 8 million he was offered.

Bryce Petty is a 2nd year player and has zero games of NFL experience.

Christian Hackenberg is a rookie who completed 53.5% (that’s bad) of his passes in 2015 for Penn State. NFL pundits predicted Houston could draft Hackenberg because O’Brien worked with the passer at Penn State. The Jets drafted him because Mike Maccagnan had downed enough whisky by pick 19 (round 2) that doing so seemed like a good idea (probably).

The Colts had (entering the NFL draft) a pressing need for a running back. The team hasn’t had a 1,000 yard runner since 2007. So GM Ryan Grigson responded by not drafting a running back at all. To be fair to the Colts, they did invest heavily in offensive linemen, blocking being a major issue for the team in 2015. Instead they’re relying on 32 year old Frank  Gore and former Marshawn Lynch backup Robert Turbin to accept fake hand-offs from Andrew Luck.

The Colts made the playoffs in the past without a strong run game, but the AFC South is more competitive now. They’ll face stiff competition with a vastly improved Houston and Jacksonville clubs.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers drafted a kicker in the second round. In the 2000 NFL Draft, NFL legend Al Davis drafted kicker Sebastian Janikowski in the first round. That’s something Al Davis can get away with because of his reputation. Aguayo will need to have a career like Janikowski for this pick not to look silly in years to come.

Special teams is a big part of the game, the Buccaneers could have gotten a replacement kicker later in the draft. The Bucs could really use an upgrade at the safety position, Ohio State standout safety Vonn Bell was available at pick 59 when Tampa picked Aguayo.

The San Francisco 49ers traded back up into the first round to draft….a guard. *Cue the Keegan-Michael Key voice* “Why? But I ask again. Why?” Josh Garnett is one of the top rated linemen in the draft. Trading up into round 1 would make sense to get QB Paxton Lynch, or even a game-changing wide receiver like Laquon Treadwell. The move implies Kelly wants to emphasize defense and the run game, a recipe the 49ers relied upon heavily prior to 2014.

If you haven’t checked it out yet, Radiohead’s new single: “Burn the Witch” was just released. It’s wicked. The music video is a stop-motion, claymation 3 and a half minute remake of The Wicker Man. You can find it on youtube.

Remember to call your mom this Sunday and wish her a Happy Mother’s Day.





If you don’t know who Paul DePodesta is, he’s the guy played by Jonah Hill in Moneyball. After his work with the San Diego Padres, DePodesta was eventually recruited by the Cleveland Browns to be their “Chief Strategy Officer.” I’ve personally never heard of a coach or front office person switching sports before. Which attests to Cleveland’s faith in DePodesta’s abilities. (Or my complete lack of sports knowledge).

There is no guarantee that DePodesta had a say in each and every player drafted in 2016, but the changes Paul made to the Padres organization would have been during events like the draft.

I see the draft as DePodesta’s imprint on the organization. His attempt to take the team to the next level like he did for the Padres.

For the third year in a row, the Cleveland Browns finished NFL draft sunday looking and feeling good.

Big Names

Corey Coleman, WR Baylor – Round: 1 – Average sized but blazing fast. I can’t help but think Coleman was drafted with Robert Griffin in mind as bigger targets like Laquon Treadwell or Josh Doctson were available at this point. Coleman was an endzone hog with 20 touchdowns in 2015 for Baylor.

Emmanuel Ogbah, DE OK. State. – Round: 2 – Great on paper at 6’4”. 275, and a 40 in the 4.5 range. Ogbah created 12.5 sacks in 2015, batted down 4 passes, and forced 3 fumbles. Looks to be a beast lining up next to Danny Shelton.

Carl Nassib, DE Penn State – Round: 3 – A 6’ 6” walk-on who earned a playing scholarship at Penn State, Nassib led the country in sacks and forced fumbles in 2015. Doesn’t have the speed of Ogbah, but Nassib’s size and work ethic showed up on the field.

Lots of potential

Jordan Payton, WR UCLA – Round: 5 – UCLA’s career receptions record holder posted solid senior numbers against top level Pac-12 competition.

Spencer Drango, OG Baylor – Round 5 – Four-year starter at left tackle at Baylor. CBS Sports’ Dane Brugler compares Drango to Dallas stud OG Zack Martin.

Rashard Higgins, WR Colorado St. – Round 5 – Higgins produced video game numbers in 2014 (96 catches, 1750 yards, 17 TDs). Reminds me of Green Bay’s Davante Adams.

Scooby Wright III, ILB Arizona – Round: 7 – Wright isn’t really tall, fast, or strong. He was a force to be reckoned with at Arizona. His sophomore year he totalled twenty-nine stops for a loss, six forced fumbles, and fourteen and a half sacks, All at inside linebacker. Reminds me of Zach Thomas, former Miami Dolphin. Wright also made’s 16 best picks of the 2016 draft. That’s high praise from the guys that really know football.

Everyone else

Shon Coleman, OT Auburn – Round 3

Cody Kessler, QB USC – Round 3 – Seen as a reach when guys like Connor Cook were still available. Cleveland management clearly sees something unique in Kessler. I’m a huge USC fan but USC QB’s haven’t been truly successful in the NFL since Carson Palmer. Kessler’s best season came in 2014, with 39 TDs and only 5 INTs.

Joe Schobert, OLB Wisconsin – Round 4 – Another player on’s 16 best picks in the 2016 draft.

Ricardo Louis, WR Auburn – Round 4

Derrick Kindred, FS TCU – Round 4

Seth Devalve, TE Princeton – Round 4 I did not know Princeton had a football team.

Trey Caldwell, DB Louisana-Monroe – Round 5

That’s great they drafted Jalen Ramsey and Myles Jack.

That’s great they acquired Kelvin Beachum, Malik Jackson, and Tashaun Gipson in free agency.

That’s great that 2015 1st round pick Dante Fowler Jr. is coming back from injury.

Lots of teams have young quarterbacks, draft exciting players, sign free agents, and have players coming off of injury.

Houston and Indianapolis will still be the clubs at the top of the AFC South.

Young gun Brock Osweiler will have an actual offense to work with with Will Fuller and Braxton Miller joining an offense that already has DeAndre Hopkins and big-bodied Jaelen Strong.

Most importantly, Houston’s offensive line should be strong in 2016 with rookie Nick Martin and a budding Xavier Su’a-Filo at guard. Speedy running back Lamar Miller should find opportunities to show off his talent behind a revitalized offensive line.

Houston’s third (overall) ranked defense has not changed significantly from last season.

Indianapolis invested two draft picks into starting caliber offensive linemen in hopes of reversing the woes their offense faced in 2015. Clemson safety T.J. Green and FA inside linebacker Nate Irving (Denver) will look to combat the deep ball that is becoming a real threat in the AFC South.

Jacksonville will improve from their 2015 season, and it’s understandable that people are excited about what Bortles does with that receiving corps but QBs with pretty numbers aren’t as impressive any more.  

Jacksonville will be, at best, tied for second place in the AFC South for the coming 2016 season.