Acing the interview (A seven step guide)

Posted: May 29, 2016 in New entries

I’ve had a lot of job interviews after (and during) college. I’ve learned a thing or two and decided to share what’s worked for me with the rest of the world. Here is my seven step guide to guaranteed success at getting the job.

1. Arrive 15 minutes early with resume in-hand. Arrive too early and you look desperate. Arrive late or just before it starts and you give off an unprofessional vibe.

2. Maintain eye contact and firm handshake. First impression is key. Subtle details will go a long way in your interviewer’s decision to hire you. They will be confident in you if you are confident in you.

ACMA_1333_Samian_decree_2

The ancient Greeks understood the importance of eye contact and a firm handshake

3. Assume proper posture, be succinct. Keep your back straight and avoid words such as: “Uhh, and stuff, that kind of thing, etc.” Everything you say needs to exactly represent how you will be an asset to the company. Extra words that show a lack of confidence or preparation will encourage your interviewer to give another candidate the nod.

Job_interview_0001

4. Let them know you’re educated. Quote the great thinkers of the world. Nietzsche once said: “One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”  They will be impressed by your superior intellect and want you working with them.

Friedrich_Nietzsche_drawn_by_Hans_Olde.jpg

Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche 

5. Jump on the desk, pound your chest like a gorilla while howling. Gorillas pound their chest to let all the other gorillas in the jungle know how big and strong they are. It scares off the competition. You’re in the jungle too. The CONCRETE jungle. You’re not going to lose your job to Becky.

800px-Male_gorilla_in_SF_zoo.jpg

6. Demonstrate your passion through interpretive dance.  Insist on a 40 minute window with the interviewer to perform a solo dance routine to express how passionate you are about customer service, cleaning supplies, or solar panels (or whatever your company does). Interpretive dance shows true dedication.

Womens_interpretive_dance_class_(2232415707)

7. After the interview, strip naked and run through the building shouting lines from ‘Mary Had a little Lamb.’ This will show how comfortable you are. Companies need to know you will get along with their team. Sometimes that means making yourself vulnerable and expressing your love of poetry.

Mary_had_a_little_lamb_1_-_WW_Denslow_-_Project_Gutenberg_etext_18546

After you get the job be sure to thank your recruiter and all of the people involved in your hiring process. A little gratitude can go a long way.

 

(All images courtesy of wikipedia.org)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s