Archive for October, 2020

In The Tank

San Francisco, Detroit, THE ENTIRE NFC EAST, Atlanta, Denver, Cincinnati*, NY Jets, Jacksonville.

San Francisco, even with all of their early injuries, looked competitive in their wins and losses at the start of the season. The stomping by Miami with Jimmy G. in the lineup just further reinforces that 2020 is not their season. Detroit needs a new coach and likely a new GM. Their team has talent but can’t execute consistently. The NFC East can’t seem to do anything. The Falcons are still winless and their offense can no longer make up for their awful defense. Denver would still be in this spot if their starting QB were healthy. Cincinnati has actually shown signs of life, and I contemplated putting them in the playoff hopefuls category, but they reside in the strongest division in football and their roster is still in the rebuilding phase even though Joe Burrow is playing well. The Jets have regressed badly from their 7-9 campaign last year. Jacksonville has one win and show no signs of returning to their glory years with an unrecognizable roster from 2018.

Playoff Hopefuls

Arizona, Minnesota, Chicago, Carolina, Tampa Bay, LA Chargers, Las Vegas, Miami, New England, Houston, Tennessee.

Arizona brings a wild card offense with Murray and DeAndre Hopkins, not unlike what the Texans used to be. Not the most consistent team, defenses still struggle with Murray’s feet and they have a chance to win every game. The Vikings have struggled but have too much talent and coaching to stay down for too long. The Bears defense is keeping them in games and Nick Foles finally wrestled the starting job from Mitchell Trubisky. Carolina’s showing up and playing football. Even without Christian McCaffrey this team could take the NFC South in a chaotic season for Tampa and New Orleans. Tampa has a top ten ranked scoring offense and scoring defense. Brady will have to show he can keep the pick-sixes under control and stay above .500 against a BRUTAL mid season stretch. The Chargers look like they’re just outside of being a playoff caliber team with close losses to Tampa Bay and Kansas City. Herbert’s playing with no fear. The Raiders just dropped 40 against the Chiefs in KC’s first loss of the season. They still don’t have a pass rush, but it may not matter if they can score at will against high performing defenses like Kansas City’s. Miami’s record is ugly, but they bring real talent on both sides of the ball and could make a run for a wild card spot after dismantling San Francisco with 30 points in the first half. New England is a scrappy, undertalented team with a stingy defense and a one dimensional offense. Belichick will keep them relevant, they need to make serious personnel changes at QB and wide receiver to remain competitive in 2021 and beyond. Houston isn’t an awful team, while their defense lacks strong secondary play, they have one of the league’s better quarterbacks with a group of B-class receivers. The Titans have three ugly wins and will face Buffalo on Tuesday Night Football. Tennessee is still a steady, “Decent”, team.

The Actual Good Teams

LA Rams, Seattle, Green Bay, New Orleans, Kansas City, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Buffalo, Indianapolis.

Chaotic seasons like 2020 illuminate how important strong coaching is. Sean McVay doesn’t the best team, but he has maybe the most disciplined team. Jared Goff is firing on all cylinders and their only loss came to a surging Buffalo team. Seattle might be the best team in the NFL right now. Their defense isn’t great, but they just outscore everybody. Russell is the league MVP right now. Green Bay doesn’t seem to need any new wide receiver help as Aaron Rodgers is enjoying his best season maybe ever. The Packers are 4-0 and have suffered no serious injuries are crucial positions lately. New Orleans is starting to fall apart, but the NFC South is their’s until someone takes it from them. They are still a competitive roster, losses to Green Bay and Las Vegas were losses to GREAT teams. The Chiefs finally lost, to Jon Gruden’s Raiders of all teams.

  • Former Patriots offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien enjoys substantial time off after being relieved of his duties as head coach and team dismantler of the Houston Texans football club.
  • Cocaine user Adam Gase, despite being the worst coach in recent NFL history, still retains his title as head coach of the New York JetsTM.
  • Pro Football Focus gurus Steve Palazzolo and Sam Monson have replaced their several servers of NFL analytics data with a napkin that was scribbled on with the following message: “DRAFT BIG, STRONG WHITE MAN” after witnessing Bills quarterback Josh Allen rank number three overall in ESPN QBR and number six overall in PFF player grade (amongst his same position peers). Former Oregon Duck and ROOKIE Justin Herbert (who I have aggressively criticized) is also performing well, with a 13th (out of 32) ESPN QBR rating despite running a dink and doink offense at the prestigious Joey Harrington University (Oregon). In order to bring balance to the force, Carson Wentz is intentionally throwing the football into the turf, into the hands of defenders and just past the outstretched arms of ELITE receivers like Greg Ward and Travis Fulgham. (Ward and Fulgham are not starting caliber receivers, Wentz has thrown 4 TDs and 7 INTs this season).
  • Another promising young, quarterback has been tossed in the bin as Dwayne Haskins will sit on the bench in Washington’s upcoming home game against the Rams. Kyle Allen, who played under Ron Rivera at Carolina, will get the starting nod.
  • 36 year old Aaron Rodgers doesn’t appear to need high quality wide receivers, excelling with Allen Lazard and Marques Valdez Scantling as two of his top three receiving threats.
  • It is highly probable that a 6-10 Dallas Cowboys team will be a number 4 seed in the 2020 NFL playoffs. The Eagles can’t seem to beat anyone (except the 49ers), the Cowboys have the worst defense in football and Washington is just still bad. Oh and the Giants have the worst offense in football, (points per game).
  • The 49ers have resorted to starting 3rd string quarterback C.J. Beathard, as their playoff hopes are likely over after losing a game to the previously winless Eagles.
  • Tampa Bay Quarterback Tom Brady has thrown two pick sixes in his first four games of the 2020 season. While he is a 43 year old man adjusting to a brand new offense, this phenomena could also link to Bruce Arians’ offense being naturally risky, as Jameis Winston set an NFL record for pick sixes thrown in a season (7). Brady, who was previously not a high-INT passer, is on pace to beat that record in 2020 under the same offense Winston ran in ’19.
  • The historically maligned Browns are 3-1, with a top five scoring offense led by QB Baker Mayfield who seems to have regained his form after a rough 2019.
  • Russell Wilson is trending toward a historic season with 16 TDs in 4 games. He’s also completing 75% of his passes with 9.4 yards per attempt.
  • Coaches likely to be gone by the end of 2020: Lions Matt Patricia, Falcons Dan Quinn, Jets Adam Gase, Jaguars Doug Marrone,

Song of the post. I sat by the ocean, Queens of the Stone Age.